Hi, my name is Smella. Smella Duck. But you can just call me Smelly. I come from Bird, and have gone to live in Knives. I have recently meet two very fictional people…. Well kind of people, my therapist says that Count Dracula doesn’t exist and neither does Michael Jackson. And then I told him that Edmund doesn’t have fangs and he doesn’t burn in the sun, he glows. My therapist said the type of ‘Vampire’ I am imaging isn’t really a Vampire, it’s a fairy. And when I told him that Taylor Swift didn’t really come out at full moon, he only came out when he was angry, he told me I would need extra sessions for abusive relationships.
I also told him that was on 17 and pregnant, because Edmund got me pregnant, and ended up giving me bruises along with my pregnancy, next he said I’ll need even MORE therapy sessions for feeling the need to cheat on my non-existing boyfriend.
I continued to tell him how beautiful and hairy Edmund is, but I had to stop because he threw up. I thought that he got himself a LITTLE over excited, so I began to talk about how muscular and veiny Michael Jackson is, but unfortunately he interrupted me to inform me that “Michael Jackson’s soul has left this earth to be remade into sunglasses.” I thought that was pretty stupid considering that Michael Jackson isn’t plastic! So how could he be made into sunglasses! Just because Michael Jackson had Plastic Surgery, doesn’t mean….. oh wait. Just forget it.
Last week I went to my therapist crying because people kept yelling at me “Smell-a-Duck…. POO!” I have no idea what they could’ve possibly meant by this, Smella-a- Duck-POO!? Who says that? Also people keep asking about Edmund, like whether he is real, and why I keep talking to myself. But I don’t! I am talking to Edmund; Edmund is sooooooo pale that he’s transparent, that’s why no one can see him. Someone asked whether he was on facebook. What’s facebook? Turned out everyone had one, and it would look suspicious for him to not to have one. So I made him one. Turns out he is really popular at school, because everyone added him. So I chatted to one of his friends for him. But they just said random words. They even meant to write my last name, but unfortunately spelt it wrong, but I understand, it is quite an unusual name. Instead of a ‘D’ at the beginning of my name they wrote an ‘F’. And wrote the word ‘you’ after it. Duck you? How does that make sense. Maybe it meant I had to duck. As if a rock was being thrown at my head. Turned out Edmund was having cat fight behind me, and Jamealina was about to claw at my beautiful hair. When I saw Jamealina, I asked if she wanted a tan, because I found dirt in my backyard that could possibly pass for sun burn. But then she just grabbed me by the hair and threw me all the way to my therapist, where I smashed into a mirror. My therapist accused me of being an ‘emo’ for actually bothering to throw myself across the room into his office, and smashing myself into his mirror. I told him Jamealina did it while I was talking to someone on facebook. My therapist said I wasn’t in the right state to have a facebook page, because of Cyber bullying, and I am a very fragile person. I told him that it wasn’t me who had a facebook page it was Edmund, but then he told that I shouldn’t pretend to be people I’m not, especially people who aren’t real, like Edmund. I told him that Edmund wasn’t a person in fact, he was a vampire.
My therapist had a total spazz about how the things I was imagining were not real, and they are just Fairies and abusive boyfriends. I told him that Michael Jackson never abused me, he just blew up, my therapist says it is the same thing. I say it’s not. He says it is. Then I fired him. He said I couldn’t fire him because 1. I never paid him, and 2. He volunteered to help me. But he left anyway, so technically I fired him.
So now Nike is my therapist, and he is also my friend, who has a rather strange accent and said his name was “Mike”, but because of his accent I knew he meant Nike, like the shoe. During one of Nike and I’s therapy he leaned with his lips puckered, like he wanted a kiss, so I gave him a thimble.
Then one after noon Nike didn’t feel like a therapy session, and he said “it’ll be awkward, since what happened last therapy session” but because of his accent I knew that he really said he wanted to go for a walk, so I said “Okay have a nice walk.” So I went to Seth Green and Brooke Fraiser’s house, but Seth wasn’t there, but Brooke Fraiser was. She asked me if I couldn’t be more of a misfit, I had auburn red hair, and was part albino. She has ‘no idea’ about how I could be so liked by so many guys and yet so ugly, I said it was because I was a new girl, and everyone loves the new girl. At least I think they do, because Edmund read a mouse’s mind and the mouse said that Edmund was way out of my league, so that is even more of a bonus! I have a vampire boyfriend that can speak mouse! I wonder why Edmund can speak mouse, but can’t even add 1 and 1 (is in two maths classes, mine and the lowest but he only attends one). He used to be in the top maths class, but then he dropped in grades rapidly. He said it was because he wanted to be in my maths class, but they wouldn’t move him. I can’t see why after hundreds of years of adding he can’t add.
Anyway, moving on to the matter that Jamealina is a GIRL, but goes around topless. I can tell she’s a girl because she has long hair. My old therapist said that Jamealina is likely to be a ‘mail’. But I didn’t understand, because last time I saw Jamealina she didn’t arrive in the mail.
Moving on, yesterday, I saw the three blind mice. I know how they REALLY got blind. The day before (yesterday was a Friday, so the day before that will be…. Wait hold up, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, so yeah it was a Tuesday) yesterday, I was walking into the kitchen and I saw some mice eating some dog (it kinda looked like Taylor Swift), and they looked up at me rather frightened, they started to do this scamper. All 3 of them ran into a wall. I think they were blinded by my beauty.
Okay, I have to go now, BTW has anyone seen Taylor Swift?
This story was written by Stephenie Meyer.
JK LOL she isn't smart enough to write this true geneis art.
It was written by me, Ellie, and Ellie only.
Okay I was kidding about the Stephenie Meyer being stupid, without her, I wouldn't have written this, hard to make sense story!
